…And Why You Should Share Yours With The Bitch Network
by Paula Gardner
One thing that I’ve noticed about confidence is that everyone is different. It’s rare that we lack confidence in all areas of our life. What’s more likely is that we feel confident in some areas, and are not so happy in others. I find my confidence through my work, and always have. I’m right on the cusp of being an introvert/extrovert and I can see how I switch from one to the other in different situations, especially in the past.
On the work front I can present to a boardroom of six just as comfortably as speak at a conference for 600. I can walk into a room and network very happily and don’t get nervous about meetings with possible clients, at all. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I put on a mask, as it is still the authentic me people are getting, but I am certainly bolstered and comfortable because we are talking about work, not me.
The confidence switch
Put me in a party or a wedding reception, for instance, and I was a different person. I felt more shy, less comfortable and sometimes even feel like an outsider. In fact, I’ve been known to talk about work at social gatherings just to feel a bit more confident. That’s not exactly riveting for the person I’m talking to, however!
Likewise, I’m pretty good with boundaries in my work. I know when to say “no” and I’m pretty tuned into my body language and know when something doesn’t feel right. I have turned down working with clients now and again, not because I can feel they are awful people, but more because I don’t feel our ways of working are compatible. However, I’m so good with boundaries, sometimes people don’t find it easy to get in, even when I want them to.
Exploring your own self-confidence
At the Bitch Network, we look at where you do feel confident, and where you don’t. We may even do a little digging around the Why because just adopting confidence tools and tips isn’t always enough. Like you, we are on that journey too, and that’s why I believe The Bitch Network is so powerful. The people you are working with, both myself and my coaches and psychologists, have been through those awful feelings of worrying about what other people think; of being told not to make a fuss and felt worn down by it; of wanting to say no but worrying whether it will affect our working or even social relationships.
We’ve taken action, looked at what works in general and what works for us personally, and we have good stuff to share. We all have our stories that have triggered the inner bitch to come out and start showing up in our lives.
There is no end point
This will always be a journey because there will always be new situations coming up that are outside your comfort zone. There will always be new people to meet, and there will certainly always be people making demands on your time and resources when you’ve only just got enough for yourself.
So you might as well have fun with it! Join us and share your journey with us.